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Talking about Your Final Wishes
Death is a natural part of life - but for most of us, talking
about it isn't. Most people are uncomfortable talking, or
even thinking, about what will happen when they or a loved
one dies.
But, avoiding the topic doesn't stop death from happening.
Not talking about it doesn't ease the pain associated with
loss. Many people avoid talking about end of life because
of their fears: suffering, pain, separation from loved ones
and the unknown. These fears keep them from dealing with
life's final lesson and make it harder to plan their lives
as they wish. Not talking can make it harder for those left
behind.
Why is it so important?
Most of us hope
that we will die quickly, but the fact is that many of us
will die after a long, slow decline. That's why talking and
planning for your death is so important to your well-being
and your loved ones' peace of mind.
Facing our fears is the first step towards planning for
the future. Talking and planning for your death is the best
way to ensure that your wishes will be fulfilled. It can
ensure you will be able to live your life to the fullest
until the end and live it the way you want.
Making decisions about how you want to spend your final
days is not simple. There are many factors and options available
today that may influence your care at the end of life. Where
do I want to die? Who will take care of me? What do I have
to do to achieve a "good death?" These questions raise just
a few of the issues to be considered in deciding your care
at the end of life.
Another focus is on what kind of treatment you want during
your final days. While some of the issues related to end-of-life
care haven't changed for generations, new issues make decisions
even more challenging. Also, health care has changed so quickly
that there are new medical technologies and treatments that
can extend your life well beyond its natural course.
When you were born, your parents spent nine months preparing
for your birth. This same kind of planning should be applied
at the end of life. Talking and planning for death are the
very acts that may allow you to live a fuller and more comfortable
life in your final days.
How to Begin
The first conversation you must have is with yourself, to
find out what your feelings are regarding your own death.
- Where do you want to die? At home? In a hospital or medical
facility? Do you want to move to be closer to relatives,
friends or other loved ones?
- What kind of medical treatment do you want? What don't
you want?
- Who do you want to take care of you?
- What do you think is a "good death?"
- What kind of funeral services do you want?
- Where do you want to be buried?
Once you have decided on what you want, use advance directives
to write your wishes down. Advance directives are formal
documents that explicitly describe your wishes for care near
the end. There are two kinds of advance directives:
- A Living Will. This document specifies
your wishes regarding medical treatment, generally the
refusal of life-prolonging treatment when death is imminent.
- A Health Care Power of Attorney. This
document allows you to appoint someone you trust to act
for you and to make decisions about your medical treatment
if you are unable to do so.
Now tell your loved ones and doctor what you want. By beginning
the conversation with them, you are giving them comfort and
peace of mind to follow your wishes.
This article comes from the AARP, and can be viewed here:
http://www.aarp.org/families/end_life/a2003-12-02-endoflife-finalwishes.html
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Learn to Make Medical Decisions in Advance
Two legal documents let you specify in advance the medical
treatment you will want to receive if an illness or disability
prevents you from making your own decisions. A living will
identifies the medical treatment you wish to receive when
you are facing death. A durable Medical Power of Attorney
appoints a person to make medical decisions for you.
What You Should Know
Living Wills
The living will is very different from your regular will.
It does not involve transferring your property to loved ones.
Instead, it identifies the medical procedures you do or do
not want to receive during your final illness. A living will
can tell your doctor whether you want to receive life-sustaining
treatment if you have a terminal illness or are in a persistent
vegetative state.
State law varies on the signing requirement for a living
will. Usually you sign and date your living will before two
witnesses.
Durable Medical Power of Attorney
A durable Medical Power of Attorney is different from and
more flexible than a living will:
- Choosing an agent. When you establish
a durable Medical Power of Attorney, you choose the person
whom you want to make medical decisions on your behalf
if you cannot make your own decisions. This allows your
agent to participate in medical discussions and weigh the
pros and cons of treatment decisions. The agent then can
make an informed decision in accordance with your wishes.
- Giving specific instructions. A durable
Medical Power of Attorney lets you give specific instructions
about any treatment that you want done or want to avoid.
You can include whatever issues you care about most.
- Combining documents. Most states now
combine the living will and medical power of attorney into
one document. In one section of the document you state
your wishes about a wide range of medical decisions, including
end-of-life treatment. In another section you appoint your
agent.
To read the rest of this article from the AARP site, please
click here: http://www.aarp.org/money/financial_planning/a2002-08-12-EstatePlanningAdvanceMedicalDecisions.html
AARP offers more information in their End of Life section
of their web site, to go there please click here: http://www.aarp.org/families/end_life/
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